My Least Favorite Ad Of All Time

"That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5) 01/03/2016 at 16:06 • Filed to: None

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I hate everything about this ad: the car, the lack of price, and needless to say the entire description:

And somehow I just now noticed the bit about the title not being in yet. I also love ‘120 on the dash’, because in no way is the seller claiming the car only has 120k miles.

But hey, scene points! And nothing impresses a girl like a man driving a Volkswagen Cabrio, which is the least manly car of all time by a wide margin. It makes the Miata look like Bigfoot.

AddictedToM3s - Drives a GC > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 01/03/2016 at 16:10

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I found this part extra funny:

This thing runs mint no stopping this baby...

So...you mean the brakes don’t work? What the hell does running “mint” even mean?

Brian Silvestro > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 01/03/2016 at 16:10

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idk pictures and english make this ad better than 90% of ads

dogisbadob > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 01/03/2016 at 16:16

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joke ads are funny

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 01/03/2016 at 16:21

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I kinda want a Cabrio.

for Michigan > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 01/03/2016 at 16:26

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Still manlier than a New Beetle.

traderQAMobileTestAutomationMobileBoostOn > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 01/03/2016 at 16:34

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Also needs punctuation, i thought “speedo doesn’t work 120 on the dash,” means the speedo goes up to 120.

Wohnson89 > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 01/03/2016 at 17:38

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You know a car and its driver have class when the car has angry eyes.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Wohnson89 01/03/2016 at 17:42

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You're right. That little car is fucking PISSED that it's a Cabrio.

Spazburn1966 > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 01/03/2016 at 21:35

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YOUTUBE SEARCH: to impress a chick

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Spazburn1966 01/03/2016 at 22:30

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I think that's probably the musical equivalent of a white VW Cabrio...though if the cab was a person, it wouldn't quite have the junk to helicopter it.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > for Michigan 01/03/2016 at 22:31

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Least Manly Cars:

1. VW New Beetle Cabrio.

2. VW Cabrio.

3. VW New Beetle hardtop.

That's how I see it.

Spazburn1966 > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 01/03/2016 at 22:42

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Group just for SNL short. They also made “Dick in a Box”:

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Spazburn1966 01/03/2016 at 22:52

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I'm familiar with Lonely Island, always good stuff.

gergey - Wishes vette was Datsun > AddictedToM3s - Drives a GC 01/03/2016 at 22:53

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They poured mouthwash into the gas tank I’d bet

AddictedToM3s - Drives a GC > gergey - Wishes vette was Datsun 01/03/2016 at 23:06

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So they’re fresh to death now?

gergey - Wishes vette was Datsun > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 01/03/2016 at 23:12

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speedo doesn’t work 120 on dash

I suspect this means the speedo isn’t working (duh) and that the needle is stuck at 120.

gergey - Wishes vette was Datsun > AddictedToM3s - Drives a GC 01/03/2016 at 23:17

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I guess? Another possibility is that it has peppermint Schnapps instead of brake fluid...

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > gergey - Wishes vette was Datsun 01/03/2016 at 23:42

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You could maybe get the Cabrio to 120 if you shot it out of a cannon.

The ‘120 on the dash’ has become a popular thing for scumbag sellers around here to say so that they don’t have to stand behind a mileage claim. That or something like “odometer says 174k”, which is I guess different from just saying the car has 174k miles.

Frosted > Wohnson89 01/05/2016 at 17:17

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More cars need to have angry eyes.